I was lucky enough to have two girls nights/weekends in a row this month. I don’t know how things worked out that way but they did. Last weekend we had a sleepover with the big girls and our littles. It was a fun day and my little is already asking when we can schedule another one.
This past weekend I spent two nights away from the fam and had lots of big girl time. It was much needed. Aside from all the stresses and headaches that come with coordinating and executing a move across states, the day to day of managing a home is draining. Being the person who knows when everyone needs everything and then making sure it’s done can be overwhelming and exhausting. And thankless. It can be really thankless work. I think sometimes things get done, stuff is handled and no one stops to think how those things came about. I’ll tell you how, I did it! I know a lot of my mom-friends feel my pain and while we are all happy to do these things (and we do them well) it still drains us from being ourselves at times.
Friday night I went with two friends to the Boneshakers Reunion at the 40 Watt. Back in the day, Boneshakers was my favorite place to go when I was ready to let off some steam. Whether it was to see a drag show or just dance my heart out, I always had a great time and met great people. We went to dinner and then saw some of the queens who graced the stage back when we were younger. It was a fun night.
Saturday we went to the Foot Palace and got our relaxation on, lunch, resting time and then dinner. And then we danced. A couple of us took a break to gab and catch up but still we danced. And we laughed. The laughing, that’s the part that fills my heart.
One of these friends is especially a joy to my heart because we’ve known each other since I was 15 years old. That’s almost 23 years. She’s known me through all sorts of trials and tribulations. She’s known me at my worst. She’s been my friend, when I was a shitty friend. And she welcomed my friendship when I fought to be a better version of myself. That’s a special friendship that I can’t adquately describe. I have done a lot of work on figuring out my shit. On being aware and trying to be a better person. I still stumble. I’m human. The difference now is that I’m trying. I want to be the friend/mother/spouse that I deserve. Because don’t we all deserve that? So I try to own my shit. When I stumble, if I haven’t already noticed, I want my people to tell me. I want to be able to look at my actions or words and own that, but also make an effort not to do it again. I’m so very grateful that this friend has accepted me after having been through the parts of me when I wasn’t self aware and wasn’t trying to be the best for anyone, including myself.
The weekend is over and I feel recharged. I love my kiddos. But sometimes I need a break to think about only feeding myself or to talk about adult things. Or to dance way past bedtime.
Now it’s the last week before school starts. The big kid has to start a brand new school where he doesn’t know anyone. The little is starting Kindergarten. All the feelings are happening this week.